Sometimes I feel like the Devil's number One target

Hello,

Every day when I take a shower I am not alone in there. I am not referring to my morning prayers, which always happen in the shower. No, I am referring to the ladybugs that live in my bathroom.  There are so many of them.

I have come to consider myself something of a Ladybug Whisperer. Sometimes I walk in and there are two or three upside down struggling in the water left in the tub. I practically kill myself running to them to save them.

That’s why I don’t always understand my actions and thoughts. I will do anything to save a ladybug, and yet there are things that I do that can hurt people. I don’t want to do that. Sometimes it’s a word. Sometimes an action.  The devil works awfully hard in me sometimes.

 I have been immersing myself in the Word of God. I have been doing whatever I can to give back and help as many people as I can. I can feel God working through me. That makes me a target for the devil. Every morning I ask for God’s help to fight the Devil. Sometimes he’s stronger than I am. It’s been torture. I KNOW God has my back. I know that He is with me. He’s making me stronger, but man I wish the Devil would just go pick on someone else right now.

I see other people hurting people left and right and leading a selfish life. They don't seem to care. Sometimes I wish I could be more selfish. And then I get really mad for thinking that. That’s not what God wants. It's just that it looks so easy for some people to not care. Guilt and remorse is so taxing.

I try so hard to live a perfect life that I forget that I am human.  I have feelings. I have emotions.  Jesus died for my sins. I am going to falter. I am going to make mistakes.  I am going to be a target of the devil. I just have to keep asking God for strength and forgiveness. And I need to work hard not to make the same mistakes.

Hey Devil, my life belongs to God. You may win some battles, but you will never win the war!

*****

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8