Room in the Inn has affected me in so many ways

Hello,

This past Monday was the last Room in the Inn night at church until December. I have been dreading this day for weeks. The weather is getting nicer, but that doesn't mean that everyone suddenly finds housing.

This past year has been such a blessing and yet so difficult. I was unable to be there for 3 nights out of the four months of Mondays. I was away for each and it killed me a little each time.

Throughout the 4 months I met so many beautiful people. There were some people that I had met last year that were back and that broke my heart. Every single week I knew at least one person from a previous week. It was always nice to know that they were safe, and yet sad that they still needed the service.

I met single moms, teenage boys, families, young ladies, older gentlemen, toddlers, older ladies, kids in school, young men. I met people of all ages and races. I met people who have been homeless for years and people who have only been homeless for a short time. I met people with jobs and people going back to school in order to find a new job. I met people who are stuck in a vicious cycle that they can't seem to break out of. It weighs heavy on my heart.

Every week I tried to bring something that someone could use. Sometimes it was t-shirts. Sometimes it was shoes. Sometimes it was nail polish. Mostly it was bags. Hello my name is Jennie and I am a bag lady. I have a very large collection of bags. I still have more than I need, but I was able to provide some every week. 

Imagine having to carry around everything you own with you at all times? Some people do have storage units, but they still need to carry around their clothes. It's hard to grasp at times. I was super excited to donate two large duffle bags with wheels. They were snatched up immediately. The first week I brought one a single mom with a toddler grabbed it. She pushes around a stroller all day and had bags digging into her shoulder.

This year on the night that I spent the night I needed to call 911 in the morning. One of the ladies dislocated her shoulder. It was so painful to look at. I honestly don't know how she wasn't screaming in pain. The paramedics came and took her to the hospital. All I kept thinking about was that even after they pop it back in she is going to be in so much pain carrying her bags. I was hoping that I would see her again just so that I would know that she was okay, but I did not.

*****

There are so many jobs needed each week. The beds need to be made. The dinner needs to be cooked. The guests need to be picked up. Breakfast needs to be cooked. People need to sleep over with the guests. Someone needs to clean up in the morning. There is a rotation of volunteers from different churches for each role. I signed up for some, but mostly my role was to visit with our guests. Each week I made it my mission to smile and laugh with as many guests as possible. So many times people would come over to the table where I was sitting commenting that my table was having "too much fun" and asked to join. Some people told me that they hadn't laughed like that in a long long time. That would make me go home and cry.

I never struggled with a topic: family, food, sports, music, school, and travel. Some people didn't want to talk and that is fine. Some people took several visits to warm up.

*****

Every week someone new occupied my heart and thoughts. On our last night I met an older gentleman from East Africa who has been blind since 1998. My heart literally hurt the first moment I saw someone leading him in. I sat with him at dinner and we talked a lot. We talked about his family who are scattered all around the globe. We talked about all of the countries he has visited. We talked about food that he ate in Africa. We talked about devices he has to help him count money and cross streets. We talked about when he lost his vision and how he was an electrical engineer before that.

I wrote down his prayer request for him and it was for someone to help him. Someone to drive him places and cook for him. When I came back from the prayer service he was already asleep and I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't sleep that much that night.

*****

When our guests arrived at the beginning of the night I asked Ms. Cheri what the protocol was about giving out our personal information. Knowing that it was our last night until December was hurting my heart. One of our guests was back and she had been weighing heavily on my mind since I first met her. Ms. Cheri said that it was up to us if we wanted to give out information, but to just be careful as sometimes it can get abused.

I had a piece of paper with my contact information burning a hole in my pocket all night. I was torn over what to do.

A few weeks before we met Ms. T who is transgender. Her joy and faith in God just overwhelmed me. We sang together in church. We prayed together. We hugged and laughed. And I had thought about her every single day since. While we certainly live in a much more open world than we used to, there is still a lot of fear and hate out there. Not to mention the horrible bill that NC just passed regarding blocking protections to LGBT. I worry about her safety every single day.

Before the service started I was talking with a pastor who asked if I came every week. When I confirmed that I did he told me that I was doing some of God's most important work. "These are the people Jesus spent time with." I knew right then and there that I would give her my number. I could not live with myself if something happened to her because she had nowhere to turn. I can't imagine Jesus wanting me to walk away.

*****

Every week we were thanked for being there. Every week someone said they were blessed because of us. No, we were blessed to be there. Their prayers, faith, and trust in God is awe inspiring. It would be so easy to feel abandoned and yet they don't.

*****

As you can imagine, politics was a very hot topic every Monday. Considering we voted on a Tuesday Room in the Inn was weighing heavily as I voted. I think everyone should volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter before going to vote.

*****

It's going to be a long 8 months until we start up again. I will need to find a way to help in some other way until then.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
-Matthew 25:40

I don't sleep well on Monday nights

Hi,

It is a cold Monday night in January and I probably won't sleep much tonight. Every Monday night in December, January, February, and March my church hosts Room in the Inn. Together with 3 other churches we provide dinner, worship, shelter, breakfast, and lunch for the Homeless.

I started attending late last year. It changed me so much. This year it is so hard to put into words. I am so Blessed to be a part of this and yet I find it nearly impossible to sleep when I come home. My heart hurts. I lay awake for hours thinking about where my new friends will be the next day. Will they find shelter? Will they find a place to sleep? What will they eat? Where will they go?

This year I have talked with people that I met last year. I have gotten to know people because they have returned. I was reunited with a gentleman that I served breakfast to under a bridge this summer. He had found a place to stay and then his group was evicted. I met a gentleman who got out of prison on Sunday and was with us on Monday. He was scared because he needed a place to stay to meet his parole conditions and the only family he has is outside of his parole area. Tonight we talked with some women and asked how they spent the day. It was cold and it was a holiday. Schools and libraries were closed. One woman and her children spent the whole day sitting in the transit center. Another woman and her husband used their monthly bus pass to ride the bus all day. She also talked about how they each had a job, but it was third shift. If you are homeless and able to get a third shift job, where are you expected to sleep during the day?

Something has to change. The system is full of vicious cycles.

For a long time I have had "Sort through my closet" on my To Do list. And let's face it, when I do go through it I don't get rid of nearly as much as I could. Well let me tell you something, all you need to do is spend some time with someone who doesn't know where they will be sleeping tomorrow and it's a lot easier to do.

Tonight I brought in a giant bag of clothes, sneakers, bags, and goodies. There were things that I haven't used/worn in forever, but kept saying "well I can use/wear it some day". Nope. Someone else can use it now.

We had some other donations and we had a nice table full tonight. By the time we served dinner it was almost empty. I stood there and looked around at the mattresses and realized that there was something of mine on almost every one. A single mom grabbed the large bag on wheels. I had met her before and we were talking about it. She was so excited "Do you know how hard it is to push a stroller and carry those two bags all day? This bag with the wheels will make my life so much easier." I told her I brought it tonight and she hugged me hard. God has put me in the right place.

I may not have a lot of money, but I have my services and luxuries that I can offer. And I like to think that I am a good ambassador. Last week I had a phone call from a friend who was excited to tell me that she had gone to church and volunteered for their similar program. She volunteered last week and is spending her first sleepover at the church tonight. I also got another call from my mom this weekend who went out and bought some socks and other items to donate. God is good.

I try to make it my mission to sit and get to know several of our guests. More often then not, that is worth more than money. Just having a normal conversation or listening to a story can mean the world to someone. We all know that they don't have a normal living situation, but the least I can do is give them a little normalcy. I have spent hours talking about oreos, The Backstreet Boys, and sports. If you try hard enough there is something you can find in common. We are all brother and sisters in Christ. We need to take care of each other.

*****

For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’

-Deuteronomy 15:11

Finding my Calm

Hello,

So it's been a while. It feels like I am always saying that. I have been a little busy. Okay, a lot busy. My last post was about reading the Bible in a Year. And let me tell you, the last couple of months have been extremely inconsistent. I am still getting my reading in, but it's not daily and I have to play catch up when I post pictures of the verses that I am reading.

It may not seem like that big of a deal, but that is what grounds me. I have noticed that even when I'm reading and catching up that I am not super focused and I can't seem to calm my brain. I am even having a hard time focusing in church. I am too busy and I am too preoccupied. It's not good. One of the projects that I taken on is just coming to a wrap. So hopefully I can breathe again soon. But, it's been pointed out that I say that A LOT.

My soul is soothed when I read the Bible regularly. If I can't find 15 minutes a day to commit to it, then quite frankly, my schedule is too tight. That should be my priority.

I think I posted before about listening to K Love, the Christian radio station, in my car. That soothes me and calms me also. For the past couple of months I have been listening to audio books in the car. I finished one yesterday and put K Love back on. I instantly felt relief. I breathed and relaxed. I need this.

In all fairness, I have been spending a lot of time at Church and working on Church events, but just because I am doing that does not mean that I can stop my reading and music. Clearly, I need it.

*****

He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.
-Psalm 107: 29-30

Bible in a Year

Hello,

I first read the Bible in a year back in 2007. At the time I was following a calendar schedule that mostly went from front to back, but occasionally mixed it up with the New Testament. This time I decided to read it chronologically. The OCD in me thought she would like that better. She does not.

In the beginning I was reading 3 chapters a day. And then Chronicles and Psalms got involved. It's been a little distracting moving around so much. Chronicles is basically repeating what I just read.

Another thing that is driving me crazy is jumping around within a book.

Today is 173 and I have kept it up. The only day that I missed was my Marathon and I made up for it the next day.

I will probably read the Bible in a calendar year again next year, but I will not do it chronologically...for my sanity.

The struggles I am having is that it isn't making me want to read. I get frustrated at the jumping around. That's not how reading the Bible should be. I should be eager to jump in and get started. The first time I read it in a year I was excited every day to read the Word.

I will finish what I started and try not to complain. It's a personal thing and I do my best to get past that and really focus on what I am reading, but sometimes I lose that battle.

I have learned so much from the Bible and I have read it every day for almost 9 years. I will never stop that. Sometimes I get more out of it when I focus on smaller amounts though and really soak it in. Perhaps my problem is that I haven't been able to carve out long periods of time to sit and absorb what I am reading daily. I will try to do better.

That's why I like Bible Studies. I do like summer, but I am ready for fall and for my studies to start up again.

*****

For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.
-Romand 15:4

Blessings before Meals

 

Hello,

 

Wow, okay I knew it had been a while since my last post, but I didn't realize that it was in February. There are so many things that I said I wanted to blog about. I'm going to make it my summer project to catch up.

 

One thing that I struggle with is saying a Blessing before my meals. I love when I am out to eat with friends and they say "Shall we say a blessing?" I have surrounded myself with such good people.

 

When I am out to eat by myself I can generally stop myself and silently thank God for the meal and nourishment. But, when I am eating at home I pretty much always forget. If anyone has an idea of how to remind myself I would greatly appreciate it. Case in point: I knew I wanted to blog about this today and did not remember to say anything before I ate.

 

The blessing I say is usually:

 

Bless us O Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

 

I just googled blessings and there are others that I am familiar with:

 

God is great, God is good.
Let us thank him for our food.
By his hands, we are fed.
Let us thank him for our bread.

 

I did like this one:

 

For food in a world where many walk in hunger;
For faith in a world where many walk in fear;
For friends in a world where many walk alone;
We give you thanks, O Lord.

 

and this one:

 

Our Dear Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for this food. Feed our souls on the bread of life and help us to do our part in kind words and loving deeds. We ask in Jesus' name.

 

If you have a Blessing that you say please share it with me. And if you are having a meal with me, please remind me to say a Blessing. I truly appreciate all that God has provided and want to give Him thanks.

 

*****

 



 

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body."
-Matthew 26:26

From Oscars to Homeless in 24 hours

Hello,

Last night was a pretty big night in Hollywood. In case you missed it, it was the Oscars. It’s a night of Glam and Glitz. I used to LOVE these shows. I would sit for hours watching what everyone was wearing. I would watch the Red Carpet shows, the Award Show itself, and then all of the shows the next week detailing what everyone was wearing.

I find it very difficult to watch now. I have a hard time watching something that puts so much focus on such trivial and superficial things.

I did find myself watching a little more than I usually do last night. I think it’s because so many films that were nominated were bringing attention to special causes. I found myself so happy when the Best Actor and Best Actress used their acceptance speech to bring light to ALS and Alzheimer. That was needed because I flinched every time I saw someone wearing a huge necklace or someone who was totally blinged out.

I have a very hard time with Hollywood right now. So many movies and television shows are all about worshipping money. That doesn’t mean that I don’t watch movies and television. It just means that what I watch don’t focus on labels and who has what.

Millions and millions of people watched the Oscars. Millions of people talked about who was wearing what. It makes me sad. There are so many more things we can focus on.

Less than 24 hours later I was sitting in church. I went to my church tonight for a service. During the winter they host the homeless on Monday nights.  They provide dinner, showers, clothing, beds, breakfast, and service.  I had been wanting to get involved. It was something I wanted to do when I lived in Charlotte the first time, but I never did. I have wanted to get involved this year, but had not until tonight.

A couple of weeks ago Pastor mentioned that the youth organize the Service and I immediately made note that I wanted to go to the service. Last week we had bad weather. Tonight I knew I wanted to be there.

If you know me, then you know that I am an emotional person. I cry all of the time. I cry during Church. I cry during prayer. I cry listening to stories. I cry.

I was not prepared for what I saw tonight. I knew what I would be seeing, but I was unprepared for how much it would pull at me. When I got to the gym dinner was over. The beds were out and people were preparing for bed. There were so many children. My heart ached.

I needed to use the ladies room and when I walked in there was a mother cleaning up her little boy. He had messed his pants. Someone was helping her hand wash his pants in the sink. Not to give TMI, but while I was in the stall I overheard her talking to her son. She told him that he would get to ‘snuggle and sleep with Mama tonight’. He doesn’t always get to do that. A lump formed in my throat. I had to stay in there a little longer to compose myself.

Soon I was time to start service. Not everyone joined in, but several did. We sang some uplifting songs  and then Pastor read from the Bible. After we all gathered at the altar and held hands. We went around in a circle and prayed.  You could pray out loud or silently. Then you would squeeze the hand of the person next to you and it was their turn. While we were singing someone placed a prayer request on an index card in front of me. I would read it out loud when it was my turn. Some of the other prayer requests had tears just streaming down my face. I knew that I would choke up if I tried to say anything else. I prayed silently and then read the card.

After prayers we had communion.  A very eager and enthusiastic young boy offered to help. He was so sweet. Pastor offered that he could hold the cloth for the wine, but he insisted that he offer the wine (grape juice).  He was unbelievably adorable jumping in and offering the prayer thanking God.  He made me smile like you would not believe.

After communion we gathered again and put our arms around each other. We swayed and sang “Lean on Me”. How I made it through that I cannot tell you. Sobbing I say. My eyes were leaking.  That was one of the most moving experiences I have ever had.

When we were done singing it was time for sharing the peace. Hugs for everyone. I am a hugger, so I loved this. It meant everyone to hug and smile with everyone there.

As soon as I got home I immediately emailed the lady who organizes these evenings. I told her that I would help in any way I can. We will be meeting on Wednesday and talk about what I can do. I will be doing some of the sleepovers and possibly driving people places. This will need to be enough for me. I hope it is because as I was walking past all of those beds and children I wanted to go empty my bank account and give every dime I have to them. Sadly, there’s not a lot there and it wouldn’t stretch that much, but it would help.

How can I get excited about who is wearing what when there are people out there that would be over the moon for a clean pair of underwear? Sometimes I just can’t handle the world we live in.

There is a song that I absolutely love. I have meaning to talk about it for some time. Matthew West sings a wonderful song called “Do Something”

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how’d we ever get so far down
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”
He said, “I did, I created you”

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

I’m so tired of talking
About how we are God’s hands and feet
But it’s easier to say than to be
Live like angels of apathy who tell ourselves
It’s alright, “somebody else will do something”
Well, I don’t know about you
But I’m sick and tired of life with no desire
I don’t want a flame, I want a fire
I wanna be the one who stands up and says,
“I’m gonna do something”

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

We are the salt of the earth
We are a city on a hill (shine shine, shine shine)
But we’re never gonna change the world
By standing still
No we won’t stand still
No we won’t stand still
No we won’t stand still

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

Well it’s time for me to do something.

******

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?

-1 John 3:17

Are we too desensitized to be affected by Bible stories?

Hello,

I have a hard time with how desensitized to violence and sexual behavior we have become as a society. I may be old school, but I remember a time when “adult material” could only play on TV after 10 pm. That included commercials.   Today you can watch the ABC Family channel at 2pm and see commercials for R rated movies. Viagra commercials are rampant on TV. Video games are full of violence.  

I was recently babysitting a 5 yr old girl who showed me her book of Bible Stories. She told me that her favorite story was the one about the baby in the basket. That took me back. I had a Book of Bible Stories when I was a little girl. It even had pictures. I can still see them clear as day when I close my eyes. It used to terrify me.  There were pictures of babies being beheaded.  It still haunts me.

My first thought is, who the heck bought me that book? But, I guess that’s what books of Bible Stories include. My second thought is, how are kids today supposed to live in a God Fearing world when the stories from the Bible don’t feel any worse than what you can see on Network TV?  There are commercials for Rated R movies that come on during that day that scare the heck out of me and I’m an adult. I shudder to think how they are affecting kids.

God loves us and we should Love Him. We should be afraid of mortal consequences. 

******

Then Pharaoh commanded all his people, saying, "Every son who is born you are to cast into the Nile, and every daughter you are to keep alive."

-Exodus 1:22